Happy 4th of July 2018; or, Don’t Tell Us You’re Sorry We’re Open Today

Phone Call #1 (Completed)

Usually, like 99.99% of the time, if we answer the phone, it means we’re open. Don’t ask the dumb question.

I’ve been busier recently than I’d hoped I would be, so there will be no holiday comic for the Fourth this year. Sorry about that, comrades. In lieu of that, here’s a throwback to the first Phone Call comic I published. Why this one, exactly?

Because there are many businesses open today, and that’s pretty shitty, honestly.

Thankfully, my job is not one of them, but I have had a job that has stayed open on the Fourth. When I used to sell liquor retail, we were open today. I spent two Fourths working the drive-thru, filling orders for thirsty revelers. Gas stations are also open today. I was saddened to find that my local pet supply store is open until 5 pm today. Even trash is being collected from my house today. It’s just kind of sad that, as a country, we don’t allow all of our citizens to celebrate one of the most important holidays on the calendar.

I understand that there’s a reason for this: There’s money to be made. That’s right; YOU are the reason they’re open. Not you specifically, but you, the public. If there’s a buck to be made, the store will be open. Thankfully, in recent years, there has been a sentiment of moving away from this type of rampant commercialism. Part of that is a direct result of online retailers, like Amazon, rising up and taking over the world, but that’s not the whole story. Unfortunately, family always comes second in retail and service industry work (and any company that says to you otherwise is lying to you), and there are many businesses who remain open today.

I’m not saying to avoid patronizing them. Hell, you may need more ground beef or beer or firecrackers or beer or sausages or beer, and need to go to one of these stores. If you need to or choose to, that’s your choice, and that’s fine. Just promise me one thing: Don’t say anything along the lines of: “It sucks that you’re open today.”

Seriously, don’t.

It’s a harmless enough thing that seemingly presents sympathy and concern. However, to a person who is ringing up your purchases, hearing I’m sorry that you’re open from the person who is a directly contributing factor to them being stuck there ringing up your purchases on a national holiday is like a slap in the face. We know you really don’t feel bad for us, because you’re in here buying from us. On the contrary, you’re glad we’re open on a national holiday to cover up for your poor planning skills. All of your words ring hollow in the ears of someone forced to work while everyone else is off and relaxing and celebrating. It’s salt in a wound. While it might soothe your conscience a little, it does the exact opposite to them. I  know this has become a more selfish world, and that needs to change, but have a little consideration for your service industry workers today.

People have been asking me this week what my plans are for today. I told them, “as little as humanly possible.” Because I’m afforded that incredible luxury. But just keep in mind as you’re avoiding blowing off your fingers with Black Cats or burning off your eyebrows over a grill, that not everyone is that lucky. So, please, don’t remind them that they’re stuck there for the day. It’s just mean.

Anyway, have a happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans at home and abroad. Don’t drown or blow yourself up.

-The Retail Explorer

P.S. Don’t anyone start with the tired, old “Well, they chose this profession, so…” That’s just as harmful and callous. More often than not, it’s not a matter of choosing, but more a matter of being stuck with it. This is a thing for a much longer post for a much different day. Thank you. Hugs and kisses.

New Offerings

F3B49D66-85D2-4125-84D3-E878C69EF52B

A tribute to burrito I’ve ever had

i know I’ve touched on this before but if you ever find yourself in Santa Fe, New Mexico, go to the Pantry and order the carne adovada breakfast burrito with red sauce. It. Is. Amazing!

-The Retail Explorer

To-Go Cup

To-Go Cup (Completed)

Aren’t most things solved by a to-go cup full of screwdriver?

I went to school in Lubbock, Texas, a flat, dusty part of the southern Great Plains in the Texas panhandle. We actually had a restaurant called Picante’s. It’s a brick-and-mortar, but I do love a good food truck, so I combined the two. I felt Picante’s would be a great name for it since they had one of the best (and cheapest) breakfast burritos in town. It was a plate-sized monster that would only set you back like $4, perfect for the hungover, cash-strapped college student. My friends and I spent many a Sunday morning coming down there, nursing heads which had grown far too large from the night before. It holds a special place in my heart for that. Plus, I’m a Texan, so I’m always looking for a good breakfast burrito. (However, major props to Santa Fe, New Mexico, for making the best breakfast burrito I’ve ever had. Not even kidding. Carne adovada breakfast burrito at the Pantry. Go get one.)

Consequently, if you’ve never listened to that song, “Sunday Morning Coming Down” by Johnny Cash, go find it right now. No song better captures the feeling of a hungover Sunday than that.

-The Retail Explorer