Misery and Despair Pizza

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Probably tastes like avocado and mushrooms.*

*Sincerest apologies to anyone who genuinely enjoys those things. To me, they are the devil.

**I know that mushrooms come on a supreme pizza. I am the one who hates mushrooms, not Pete.

***Everyone can enjoy/eat pepperoni pizza. You do not care for pepperonis? You pick them off. Easy.

****Hmm, I wonder if I can think of enough postscripts to get these asterisks all the way across the page? Nah, I was lucky to have stretched it as far as I have already. Has anyone even read down this far? Honestly, if you have, you probably deserve a medal. Or a chocolate. Or a high five.

-The Retail Explorer

Geography

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Spoiler alert: They never learn.

When you have regulars you know have been living in the state for at least a year or two, and who have been shopping there for about the same length of time, comments like this will floor you. It is a painful amount of stupidity, because the smallest of things, the most common of knowledge can be lost on a Shopper. It does not take a rocket scientist to look at a chart (which has a map of the United States on the front, divided and labeled into the areas each specific sectional chart covers, for reference) and understand that, in order to have complete coverage of the state of Texas, one must have seven charts. SEVEN! Texas is a large state, and anyone who has lived in the state for any length of time would know that. Again, most of the Shoppers here are your typical Shopper and completely stupid. The fact that he is a student pilot, and uses charts on a daily basis, just adds to the immensity of his stupidity. The funny thing is he has purchased int he past sectionals for San Antonio and Dallas/Fort Worth, so he is aware that there is more than one chart for the state. As far as I know, he is aware of three different ones. But his tiny brain cannot process or recall such information. Honestly, I do not know if it is large enough to store such basic information. It constantly leaves me speechless whenever I hear him say things to me like this. I know the stupidity is coming as soon as he enters the building, but he always finds new levels of stupidity for which I am ill-prepared. In terms of stupidity, he is a god among Shoppers, and there are few that could be his equal. That is not to say that they do not exist, just that they have never presented themselves as challengers. In this particular jungle, in my opinion, he truly is the king of the morons.

-The Retail Explorer

New Pilot Kit

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Don’t even get me started on the prices of airplane ownership…

Yeah, if you had no idea before, aviation is expensive. You know how expensive it is to get a driver’s license and own a car? Multiply that by like 50 and you have a better idea of the costs involved. It is astronomical, but I hear flying is an incredible experience well worth the cost. I cannot imagine how, but that is what I hear.

On another note, we have a header now! Yay, graphics!

-The Retail Explorer