Doorways are magic. I mean the way they swing open and shut is just amazing. What? Huh? Yeah, I knew that. I knew that wasn’t what he meant. Shut up.

I have long held this theory to be true. It is either that or the doorways are Jedi, exerting a strong influence on the weak-minded. Whatever it is, it turns the intelligent person into a mouth-breathing Shopper, a most remarkable and frustrating transformation.

-The Retail Explorer