Tag Archives: Retail Problems

Phone Call #1

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Nope. Just here on my day off. Answering the phones. Just in case.

There are so many ways to obtain simple information such as this, and there are many more ways to ask for it poorly. A Shopper can come across as an even grander idiot than usual by asking questions stupidly. If you want to know if a store is open, refrain from asking them if they are, and instead ask them what their hours are that day. If your call falls within those bounds, then they are currently open. You can also gather that information if you realise that you are talking to an actual person because someone is actually there because they are open for business. It is incredibly simple, but for a Shopper, this is a remarkably difficult task. As you know, they are very dense, slow-witted creatures.

-The Retail Explorer

Seven Days a Week

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Don’t leave messages like this. Especially when you make stupid, incorrect assumptions.

The Shopper believes itself to be largely infallible. Never is this more apparent than when it involves the website of a particular shop. I have witnessed this far more times than I would ever like to admit. One specimen appeared seeking a specific item it had seen on what he insisted was the shop’s website, despite the fact that it was an item the shop had never carried before in its existence. Regardless, he was undeterred even after being informed of that circumstance.

Upon arriving at the shop, a note was on the door, reading, “Your website says 7 days a week”. I knew that this could absolutely not be the case, having looked at that site daily for a number of weeks. Having experienced a number of Shopper errors along these lines, I knew this to be the case. The shop’s website has only two letters different from a similar shop’s site, except that the other shop has two locations to our one, one in Georgia and another in California, and ours is right in between them.

However, this is nothing for which a Shopper to trouble itself, obviously. It is the fault of the shop for not put a large, flashing sign on the front page of the website that displays the location and hours of operation instead of hiding them on a page entitled “About Us” or something like. We are such awful, deceptive bastards, trying to deceive these poor Shoppers. Shame on us! Shame on us all!

Again, this is, apparently, never the fault of the Shopper, since they believe themselves to be free of fault, incapable of error, and it is our fault for not reading minds and offering every conceivable, random piece of information the Shopper might ever possibly require. We are such horrible people, us shopkeepers and researchers.

-The Retail Explorer