Fancy Pen

fancy-pen-completed

Too good to use a normal pen, huh?

Does using your own pen really make you feel that special? Is it worth that feeling of superiority at the expense of the little respect we had for you? I get it; you spent considerable money on that nice pen, and you want to use it, but it is a bit insulting when you outright ignore the pen we are offering for you to use and go straight to your pocket for your own fancy pen. Just as you are free to say whatever you damn well please, you are more than welcomed to use your own pen, but you do so at your own peril, leaving you to face the social consequences of your actions. So, by all means, sir, disregard and ignore the pen we offered you, use your own, and look like a complete asshole, but understand that we will hate you more for any slight you commit against us, particularly something like this.

-The Retail Explorer

Sundays On Safari: Storytellers

Rookie mistake.

This is usually a trait that develops later in the lifespan of a Shopper, a strange desire to commune with random store clerks. Their stories will amble on and contain some curious kind of magic that makes the minutes stretch out to feel like hours. Fighting the somnolence it leaves in its wake is futile effort. This partially born out of loneliness and partially out of age, but whatever causes it leads to boredom for others. Now, some, mind you, actually tell interesting stories. The problem is that the vast majority of these stories are unsolicited and almost burdensome, and we as shopkeepers are loathe to deal with them for the duration of our time in retail purgatory.

-The Retail Explorer