Tag Archives: Shoppers

Sweaty Money

sweaty-money-completed

You know what’s worse than this? Not a whole lot.

We have all encountered it before. It is among the worst things we can ever deal with in a retail shop space, money that has been too close to a person’s body on a hot day, transferred to you moistened, crinkled, possibly carrying a stench that makes me gag just pondering it. If you say you do not experience flashbacks like this, I call into question your honesty. This is one of the prime characteristics of the Shopper: selfishness. They think only of themselves. Otherwise, they would have done more to secure their money in a more sanitary way before unleashing it, in all its disgusting glory, upon the unsuspecting shopkeeper. If you are a Shopper, do not do this. No shopkeeper will ever look upon you with any fondness. If you do this, you are a horrid, thoughtless beast.

-The Retail Explorer

Phone Call #1

phone-call-1-completed

Nope. Just here on my day off. Answering the phones. Just in case.

There are so many ways to obtain simple information such as this, and there are many more ways to ask for it poorly. A Shopper can come across as an even grander idiot than usual by asking questions stupidly. If you want to know if a store is open, refrain from asking them if they are, and instead ask them what their hours are that day. If your call falls within those bounds, then they are currently open. You can also gather that information if you realise that you are talking to an actual person because someone is actually there because they are open for business. It is incredibly simple, but for a Shopper, this is a remarkably difficult task. As you know, they are very dense, slow-witted creatures.

-The Retail Explorer