Yeah, smile. That’ll help…
I will not acknowledge what today is, because in retail, there are no holidays, really. Christmas and a half day on Thanksgiving, depending on where you work. To everyone else, enjoy the holiday, and if you do go shopping, please do not act like an ass. Seriously, be extra kind to your retail counterparts. They deserve a little more kindness on these days.
Moving on. If you have worked in retail for more than five minutes, you have heard a Shopper utter this unoriginal, painfully unfunny “joke”. It was not funny, I am certain, the first time it was told, and it remains that way to this day. But the Shopper, considering itself to be a hilarious individual, will continue to tell this joke, and others like it, for generations to come. Be prepared, comrades!
-The Retail Explorer
The Shopper is a delusional beast. This is one of their greatest delusions: that the shopkeeper might be hiding merchandise from them in some kind of magical area known as the “back room”. Obviously, this is not the case. The mere thought of hiding product from a hungry Shopper is contradictory to the entire enterprise of retail. Why would a shopkeeper hide items that a Shopper might wish to purchase? Why prevent a sale when a shopkeeper can make one? It all makes no sense. But do not tell the Shopper that. It might injure their brain to attempt comprehension. They would much rather believe in elves and faeries than in the bleak reality that not every shop has every thing they could ever hope to want. Not every shop can be WalMart or Target or any of the other “big box” retailers who can offer a wider assortment of goods. But since everything exists for the Shopper’s own self-interests, they ultimately reject this scenario as false, that they are being deceived because the world is out to get them. Illogical as it may be, they cling to this thought when they cannot find what they seek.
They hold out hope that maybe it is being concealed from them for some reason, or that maybe there might be one in some store room in the back that could produce it. The back room is not a catch-all, and for smaller shops, the overstock it holds is usually minimal. Just do not try to convince a Shopper that this is not the case. They will not believe it anyway. Teaching a Shopper things like this is like trying to teach a pig to sing: it wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
-The Retail Explorer
An a-la-carte man living in a package-deal world. Bless his heart.
Ah, removable components, one of the Shopper’s natural adversaries. The prospect of attempting to modify something like this themselves is just too great a task to even consider. Also, the Shopper tends to be fairly parsimonious. You see this behaviour often, especially when buying in large quantities or when larger sums of money are involved. Squeeze every dime!
-The Retail Explorer
KEYHOLDERS 