A perfect storm of Shopper jackassery. Let us break this down, shall we?

1. If it requires a massive amount of change leaving the register, please, refrain from paying with a $100 bill. Unless you are at a larger chain or big box retailer. They have the means to break large bills more often than smaller shops like this one.
2. If you end up paying with a card, specify how you want the card run. Some machines can distinguish automatically what kind of card it is, but many still require some kind of manual entry. Yes, we do get charged less for one method of payment over another, which differs based on the company offering the payment services, but if the Shopper acts like they care at that point, we know they do not, and we hate them more because of it. Please, use specificity when shopping.
3. If you buy a keychain, or a single, small item, such a book or something, you don’t need a bag! “But I don’t want someone to see this yet,” or “but it’s a gift for someone.” Neither of these are logical excuses. If it is small enough to hide on your person, conceal it. If it is a gift, go buy them a card and gift bag, you cheap Shopper bastard! No one wants to receive a gift wrapped in a “Thank You for Shopping” bag!

I know that the Shopper will never understand these errors and will commit them again, and again, and again, and again, and…you get the picture. ‘Tis a sad, sad cycle of moronic behaviour that shall remain forever unbroken. Woe is the retail shopkeeper.

-The Retail Explorer