For those of you wondering why ordering a drink like this is a red flag, allow me to explain. No drink is ever ordered with the mixer before the alcohol; it sounds weird and makes you look like a nitwit. It’s always “vodka tonic” or “vodka cran” or “rum and coke,” and not the other way around. Say it back to yourself both ways. One of them sounds weird, right? Don’t say it that way to a bartender.

(Side note: If you order a “rum and coke,” order a Cuba Libre; it’s literally the same thing, but includes a lime wedge for garnish and makes you sound much more intriguing and confident. I’m not kidding.)

Also, it’s a dog whistle for bartenders to immediately check the patron’s I.D., because it’s such a rookie mistake. Just like ordering a Fuzzy Navel. Make smarter choices.

-The Retail Explorer