Oh, kicking and screaming, please!

Yes, this actually happened, not to me though, thankfully. I was a bystander for this one, stifling giggles as the events unfolded. Yes, the customer was a Spaniard who believed that being Spanish made him an authority on a Mexican beverage. (Yes, I know the origin of the margarita is disputed, but no matter upon which birthplace it lands, that spot is an entire ocean away from Spain.)

And yes, he got kicked out for arguing with a bartender, which brings me to rule #1 of dealing with your bartender: Don’t argue with him. This isn’t an issue of an improperly-made drink. It’s an issue of ego. Here’s why I say that: There is a very simple way for him to have received a new drink. All he had to say was that the drink didn’t taste good to him and that he would like something different. Many times, a bartender will do this free of charge. Happy customers mean more tips, after all (usually).

When you don’t like a drink, especially a simple one that every single bartender in the civilized world knows how to make, telling him he did it wrong is not the way to initiate that conversation. All private businesses reserve the right to not have to deal with your bullshit. If you’re too much of a pain in the ass, they’re well within their rights to give you the boot, and you have no say in the matter.

So, be kind to your bartender. They’re knowledgeable and friendly and want to make you a drink that works for you. Oh, and tip well.

-The Retail Explorer